Exclamation not Explanation Ignite the Fire in Your Belly

•November 18, 2012 • Leave a Comment

We’ve all lost our way at least twice in our life, maybe in our teen years and again in our adult life and there is nothing wrong with you.  What matters most will be your tight grip on the hopes and dreams you had to begin with.  You are not too beat up, worn out, hurt, or disappointed to see those dreams come to pass!  Remember, the difference between the most successful people and mediocrity is successful people don’t give up!

Recently I had an incredible opportunity to sit in a group of professional married women and speak…this was definitely outside of my comfort zone.  These professional women were doctors, CEO’s, administrative assistants, and everything in between; what I learned was truly amazing and motivating, they actually joined my crowd.  You see for years I believed I was the only one who struggled to manage day-to-day pressures of life without becoming overly stressed out and completely overwhelmed.  I actually forgot what was most important.  The constant exertion to redefine success became exhausting.  Since, I’ve been able to piece together the puzzle pieces to see success cannot be driven mainly by profit; that model will compromise principles and push us into the endless shortchanging of quality and services for the ones who mean everything to an organization, the customer.  We cannot allow ourselves to be the first responders in every situation, the destiny of all can only be impacted by shared experiences.  The only way to truly make a positive difference in the lives of others is through the sharing of experiences and the lowering of our sail…we can’t live this life alone we need help and a crowd for the dark days.

The dark days?  Yes, the days when you feel like you’re running in the hamster wheel making absolutely no progress…you’re holding on to survive instead thriving.  So you might ask, “What difference can I really make?”  or “How can I keep going when so many things are stacked against me?” or even better, “Why keep pressing forward when everybody has already told me it won’t work, it can’t be fixed-just walk away and dream a new dream?”  We press forward and attack that mountain in front of us because the dreams that keep you up late at night and won’t let you rest are placed there for a purpose much greater than you!  Love holds us together and carries us through the storms of life.  Storms will come and often times the people who were “with” us when we began seem to have switched sides, they aren’t there anymore…they don’t understand or no longer believe in your dream and may even begin to question you. “Why do you continue to pursue your dream when so much is stacked against you?”  The fire in your belly won’t let you quit!  Sometimes you may feel that you don’t have the strength to press through; and that is just fine.  Just as Moses held his arms in the air for Joshua and the Israelites we have “people” who we may or may not know who believe in each step we take to hold on and pursue our dreams, hopes, and goals.  These people are standing in the crowd ignoring the negative thoughts (even in our minds), opposing viewpoints,  and actions against our dreams.  They believe we will make it over the mountain and they are in the crowd and they are cheering us on.

We may not hear them, but they are there softly cheering…”keep going, don’t give up now!”  Life isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon!  The loud voices telling us to give up, it’s too hard, too late, etc. are lies trying to keep you from your successes.  We’ll face many mountains of hurt, disappointment, failure, regret, and fear…however if you allow yourself to remember that fire in your belly you had when the dream first came to you, you’ll make it over that mountain and look back and see only a molehill. Think about a marathon runner, the grueling pain they experience at some point during the race; it may begin to look hopeless and they want nothing more than to give up because it will somehow stop the pain.  These runners experience so many different emotions and sometimes they come all at once.  When you ask them, “How did you do that, how did you finish?” you may hear them say something like, “I just let the crowd bring me in.”  So I say to you, DON’T GIVE UP!  We all have a “crowd” and they are cheering us over the mountain.  The hopes and dreams you had are still very much alive and even more possible now than they were when you first envisioned them.  Remember, your crowd may be new but that doesn’t matter…they are still in your corner and believe in your dreams and know your fears, pain, disappointments and they are still right there cheering for you.  Finish this leg of the race; don’t give up…press through and over the mountain to victory!  It will look so much better once you’ve gotten to the top than it will if you give up!

2 Chronicles 31:21: “And every work that he undertook in the service of the house of God, and in accordance with the law and the commandments, to seek his God, he did with all his heart; and he prospered.”  Your greatest achievements and ultimate joy will only come from pressing through what seems to be insurmountable.  Don’t give up, ignite the passion from within and move past hurt, pain, fear and disappointment; your best days are ahead not behind you…

Posted in Faith Walks, Perseverance, Personal Growth and Development, Self Improvement
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Walking Tall, Accenting the Positive

•November 6, 2012 • 2 Comments

Walk tall you who are young at heart.  Accent the positive those of you who fear the unknown.  Today is your day!  Reach out, enjoy, and remember as a child you had hopes and dreams for your future, many times those dreams were bigger than you were.  Then, before you knew it the “big people” world entered and the people of that world began telling you your dreams were too big and your hopes unrealistic.  Many of us began to listen to those people; now we have accepted our lives as they are because those voices, those people represented credible sources for us, they are the people who really know us, so they must be right.  Wrong answer!  They may know you; however they will not and cannot finish your race.  No pitch hitting here.

People are going to talk about you, let them.  People will try to persuade you against following your dreams, don’t listen.  Some may even go as far as to tell you your talents exceed your imagination, thank them and keep moving forward.  Learn to be patient through this season and ignore the negative comments…they only prove you’re doing something right.  Continue to dance outside of the box, respect those with differing opinions and move towards your dream.  Stop telling yourself your dreams are bigger than you are, they aren’t!

Sustainable Leaders will “Act-As-If”, and when asked how it’s going will reply with a resounding; “It’s GREAT!”   Consider a few people you may know firsthand who you might have said were chasing a pipe-dream.  Now, did you notice a common element about them…no matter what was in front of them or what obstacle was placed before them they kept going forward with unbelievable focus and determination? What you witnessed was a sustainable leader working at its finest.  These people saw the end, knew the final goal and executed the dream into existence.  When they fell, they picked themselves back up and kept moving forward with a clear understanding of what works and what doesn’t work in each situation. You see dreams are great; however without that special someone with the executable focus to communicate the vision you have a hope…focus your attention, master your plan and implement the heck out of your dream and score big!  Don’t believe me?  Get your book out again and check out Chapter 26, Doing Business by the Good Book.

“If you do not doubt in your heart, but believe that what you say will come to pass, it will be done for you.  So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:23-24

Posted in Uncategorized

Extravagant Generosity

•October 28, 2012 • Leave a Comment

We are a people trapped in pain, we are a people of boundless and limitless possibilities; yet we struggle and find ourselves in polarizing positions.  Where does it stop?  And how did it begin?  I’m not sure how it started and I dare not get into a political discussion…that won’t help the situation, only add fuel to the fire.  We are a people in pain…we are a people of boundless and limitless possibilities.  Extravagant generosity began for me in a much different way, now I see it as a guiding light to our future.

We must begin to stretch ourselves beyond our feelings to extravagant generosity.  Think back to our ancestors…our great-grandparents…while they may not have had the resources we have today, they had something we seem to have forgotten: the stick-to-it-ness to do whatever it takes.  Every day we make decisions and choices to ease our pain things get too hard emotionally, financially, or career wise.  It’s so easy to do, we just quit and move on to something else, something that isn’t as painful, challenging, or even a new job because in this new job we won’t have the same problems.  Before things weren’t as easy and our ancestors pressed though the pain, pressed through the financial challenges…they made it a point to do what it takes, they gave generously to others more than they gave to themselves.  Why then do we feel we are entitled to instant gratification?  Life doesn’t promise we won’t experience any unhappiness or challenges…in fact life doesn’t promise anything. We can’t ignore the pain and hope it goes away and we certainly can’t walk away from it.

It’s funny how that works, where you go…so do your challenges and pain.  So, how in the world did our ancestors make life work for them?  Patience and Extravagant Generosity.  They had all they needed, they gave because they didn’t have a choice not to.  Just today, my daughter asked me to tell her the story of her first few years of life…she loves hearing the story of her Mom as a mess.  And a mess I was.  I was so excited to have a child and enjoyed being pregnant…then in the final hour I panicked and said; “ I don’t know what I was thinking…I thought I could do this, but now after thinking about it I’m just not ready.  Maybe I should wait for a few years.”  My mother is a wonderful woman who has been known to translate for me said, “Well, you don’t have much of a choice now.  You’ll be fine.”  I guess I should have done my usual and asked several additional questions to understand when exactly I would be “fine”.   Well, it took me a little over two years to really “get” being a mother…please don’t get me wrong I didn’t leave my daughter with anyone and come back…I struggled to be comfortable as a mom.  There weren’t any books telling me what she’d do, think or feel…and I needed one for me too.  I spent the first couple of years in tears, I wanted to give up.  I wasn’t expecting the emotional charges or the little annoying things little kids do…it was an adjustment for me.  I relate that to marriage, another very frightening thing for me…I didn’t have a text-book guiding my every step and direction as a wife.  I wasn’t 100% comfortable in that role…it takes time to figure the emotional aspects of joining two into one while keeping the one on standby.   For some it just works out smoothly at first, for far more those first few years are the most difficult years of their life together.  In both circumstances all you can do is keep giving the best you can, walking in faith knowing you’ll get it right.  I think my daughter likes to hear the story for two reasons, first because she can laugh at all the mistakes I made, and secondly because she knows how I gave everything I had to get it right and be the mom I wanted to be and she needed.  It motivates her not to ever give up, no matter how difficult life becomes.

We all have baggage, things we carry around with us from our past.  New things don’t just happen naturally…especially when they take you completely out of your comfort zone.  Don’t give up, just take a breath.  Learning to grow and experience the people around you is one of the greatest joys of live.  Be a person full of “Extravagant Generosity”…give generously to those around you, open your heart and mind to limitless possibilities you can’t see–for if you knew how everything would work out in the end what would you have left to dream about?

So I believe the first step to Extravagant Generosity begins like this:

  1. Stop comparing yourself to others!  Appreciate your life’s experiences are different…meet them where they are and grow together, because “comparison is an action of violence against yourself.” –Inyana Vansant
  2. Your past is best viewed with your eyes closed, open your eyes and look forward…the best days are yet to come.
  3. When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place!  This might be the single most important thing we can learn from our ancestors…because if it weren’t for them sticking to it, we wouldn’t be here.

Go out there and do the right thing, mend the fences and give until it hurts So Good!

Posted in Faith Walks, Perseverance, Personal Growth and Development, Self Improvement
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Dusting the Ashes Off

•October 25, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Wow, this is happening and for the first time in my life I feel absolutely powerless to change my situation.  This is really happening…though I might have said a few weeks or months ago that it was happening TO me; but I am thankful today I can say it is happening FOR me.  Each day brings a new perspective which in turn provides the fuel I need for perseverance.  “Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second.” –William James

I have spent years studying human nature, what drives and motivates the inner most thoughts and actions of our lives.  And I have dedicated myself to empowering women to reach beyond what they could see and often times beyond their feelings to do exactly what is in their soul…I truly believe most people give up on their dreams a few moments before they come to pass and settle where they are.  I hear people saying things like, “Well I guess I should just give up.  If it was supposed to work out it would have already, so I might as well accept this is my life and just enjoy it.”  Well, that’s the “stinkin-thinkin” that gets each one of us to say, “I can’t believe this is happening to me.”  It’s not happening to you anymore than this is happening to me!  If things aren’t going the way you want them to go, are you willing to pack and lunch and go to work?  Or are you just expecting things to change because you somehow “commanded” change?  It doesn’t work that way, you must have the stick-to-it-ness to see and work for the change.  If you tried 100 ways to change a situation, try 101…Don’t be discouraged. It’s often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.  We all give up too soon, when you feel you just don’t have what it takes to finish the race…let the crowd bring you in!!!  You just don’t give up because it got hard and you couldn’t figure it out on your own.

Let’s face it folks, if it wasn’t supposed to happen…it wouldn’t have happened!  These setbacks we think are happening “to us” are actually called CHANGE, and they happen whether you’re a willing participant or not…we really don’t have a choice in the matter.  What we do have a choice about is how we deal with the change, you get to decide: are you green and growing or ripe and rotting?  Today, I am viewing my new life as an opportunity to get a little green and grow…and trust me when I tell you, that isn’t easy.  Easy would be giving up completely.

What I’m not enjoying is the fluttering pain that seems to creep up in the most inopportune moments.  Or the rush of memories, hopes, and dreams…what do you do with all of those?  One day at a time…keep breathing, in and out…in and out, don’t regret the memories nor the dreams they inspired…for they ignited a passion deep within.  I’m learning how to deal with my new life and it surely isn’t easy…but I also never heard it would be.  Let’s be honest folks, pain is real and the plight is singular…so today, I can say I give it all to the Lord knowing joy comes in the morning.

I am reminded of why I began writing…to explore the possibility of being a guiding force in a sustainable world…the true north leader…dealing with adversity is a part of the responsibility…to whom much is given, much is required.  I am only asked one thing in life…to just be me.

“Consider is pure joy, by brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

Posted in Change, Faith Walks, Perseverance, Personal Growth and Development, Self Improvement
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Adversity Isn’t Ours To Avoid…It’s Ours To Embrace

•September 20, 2012 • 2 Comments

I haven’t been writing in quite a while, mostly because I had not felt called to write until the most eventful day of my life.  At first I wasn’t completely sure what to do with my new found time…yes, I said time because yesterday while driving south a major interstate to a jobsite with a colleague we noticed something completely out of sorts.  We were traveling southbound in the right hand lane, and noticed a red truck ahead of us traveling northbound.  While it didn’t seem completely out of sorts for a few seconds, as we continued driving we immediately realized we were not on a two lane highway…we were in fact driving towards a vehicle driving at full speed going the wrong direction!  As my colleague, the driver and I quickly registered this information he began honking the horn, I turned to look at the driver.  At that moment I realized the driver didn’t attempt to look in our direction, he just passed us and continued driving on the wrong side of the highway at full speed.  The following seconds felt like hours as the car immediately behind us was missed; however as we watched helplessly from the rear-view and side-view mirrors the vehicle that just passed us never touched their breaks as they barreled head on into a vehicle traveling southbound.  Powerless we watched as the vehicle traveling in the wrong direction catapulted into the air and the vehicle he hit spun off the highway into a ditch and immediately caught fire.  We stopped to find four additional victims of the wrong way driver, visibly shaken yet without a scratch even though one vehicle had just been in the median.

The echoes of the man struck rang in my ears for hours after the accident, tears streamed down my face, and questions crossed my mind.  What had I last said to my daughter, did I tell her that I loved her?  I had gotten up that morning, made my coffee and taken my teenage daughter to school…made it to the office and began flying around as usual.  There was so much to do and so many people expecting something from me.  With only the same 24 hours everyone else receives…and then it hit me, the man traveling the wrong way did not get 24 hours this day; however with hope and prayer the man he struck would be able to live through the 24 hours. But what would I do with my 24 hours…especially since I had been given grace to do something more with my 24 hours than I might have initially planned to do.

Each 24 hours we are given is a gift, be thankful even when you aren’t feeling especially thankful; for if we are all granted the opportunity we will face adversity of many kinds. A life without troubles or challenges doesn’t exist, so we’ll all need to fasten our seatbelt and jump on for the ride because giving up isn’t an option.  Remember, you may not “feel” like taking the next step or the step after that; just remember our feelings are fickle and will change as quickly as the adversity we are currently facing.

To quote David Steward, “Here, we are taught to do good deeds for others, even though we ourselves are enduring difficult times.  For in doing so, we will not be consumed with our own sorrows, but instead will grow strong by doing well for others”  Go out and make the most out of your 24  hours…I’m counting on you!

Posted in Personal Growth and Development, Self Improvement, Uncategorized
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Does Your Brand Show A 360 Degree Viewpoint?…

•February 4, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Ok, ok…you got me.  I haven’t posted in a very long time.  I allowed my sprint through the 4th quarter to continue well into the 1st quarter of 2012, and now at even faster pace.  To be honest, I missed the entire month of January and found myself very surprised when I awoke on February 1st…where did the month go?  I was supposed to do a few things…and the time just slipped away.  That is when I made the commitment to myself NOT to “just let the time slip away”…life is far too important!

Surprisingly though I was able to see much more than I would have believed to be true, especially when moving as fast as I was.  As leaders we must open ourselves up to a 360 degree view of ourselves in order to Act-To-Win.  How did 2011 end for you? 

  • Did you find yourself in the exact position you “planned” for? 
  • Was your organization profitable; were your people engaged-learning-and getting better? 
  • How much of that would you attribute to your actions? 
  • How are your people feeling now? 
  • Do they know why they are in your organization? 
  • Or most importantly, do they feel valued?

Each of us has a brand attached to us, our organizations, and/or our families.  What that brand says about our integrity, commitment, and trustworthiness means everything to the other 180 degrees we do not see. (business partners, customers, family members, and the community)  Our attitude regarding those close to us can and will determine our successes in the coming year.  What choices are you making right now to guide your team to the finish line in excellence?    

STOP!  Turn on the wipers to clear the misty rain clouding your judgment.  Understand right here and now; “All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” –Henry Ellis.  Acting-To-Win will require changes in attitude, motives, and true servant leadership.  In order to truly win, you must get comfortable with surrounding yourself with the right people…and sometimes they may be smarter than you! (Yes, I did just say that)  A true leader understands their vulnerabilities and operates in the company of individuals with the talents and commitments to deliver success.

Get out there and seek a 360 degree understanding of yourself.  Then change your pace like a marathon runner and win as a team…not an individual.  Take this week to reflect on 2011 to develop a system of change, growth, and development for 2012…PLAN TO WIN.

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools suffers harm.” Proverbs 13:20

Posted in Leadership, Personal Growth and Development, Self Improvement
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Commander and Mentor of Sustainability

•September 16, 2011 • 1 Comment

Leaders create a Followship.  Sustainable Leadership Builds Generations.  In order to fully seek and grow in leadership a true understanding must transpire.  Leadership growth must come from the inside-out; focusing on far more than a single generation.  Sustainability in leadership will only come from our ability to pass down and strengthen one generation to the next.  We must remember leadership is not defined by our personal views; it is defined by those we serve.

Some of have been fortunate to experience the autocratic “manager”; you know the one with short-term thinking and an overbearing personality.  They are the ones who don’t quite understand the business as a whole, only pieces and parts.  Our frustration, which at times leads to anger and turnover may not be fully, understood either.  I said “fortunate” because having the opportunity to look back and see how we felt and what actions we took allow us to make immediate changes to our techniques.

We have top “leaders” neglecting the life-cycle cost associated with retaining these “autocratic managers”.  Failure to notice or appreciate the long-term effects is haunting not only this generation; but the three behind us as well.  We can no longer afford to “overlook” our leadership mark by not clearly defining our personal leadership brand.  How are we influencing those around us through our thoughts, actions, and service?  As leaders with autocratic managers, we are revealing our acceptance for unacceptable and unaccountable behavior.  Simply put, we are condoning “that’s just the way they are” behavior and facilitating a new acceptance of mediocrity for future generations; the same generations we will soon seek for guidance, comfort, and care.  This is NOT acceptable!

We should seek to mentor and demonstrate through transparency a true image of who we are; our objective: reach beyond the immediate generation.  Our internal knowledge ought to span heavily into our external know-how to affect the lives of others.  Sometimes we just get it wrong!  The good news is: with any luck, we can get it right the next time. 

A given: the economy is bad, our patience has been tested, and we are doing far more with far less than we are familiar with; however, this is the right time to carefully consider the brand you leave for future generations!  Just ask yourself: what are the top 3 things you would like to be identified with and remembered for doing?  Now is the time.  No matter what your role, take action and create a positive leadership brand.   Craft a trademark which will exist because you shared an image of where you came from and what you do.   Mentoring creates a win-win, go out and GET IT RIGHT!

Posted in Leadership, Personal Growth and Development
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